A Unified Theory of Mom Blogs.

February 6th, 2012

Moms and blogs were made for each other. The reason mothers caught the social media ball so quickly and have run so far with it is simple: we know how to build and maintain community. It’s something we learn on the job, something we learn from each other. Blogging fits glove-to-hand over a mother’s most fundamental survival instinct: to reach out.

Hanging out with another mother on her blog for a few minutes reminds me of my old playgroup days. It was a big, loose group that rotated through each others’ homes once a week or so. As with the mom blogs I follow, our kids crawled, toddled and ran through it all, but it wasn’t really about them. The topics of conversation were wide ranging. One minute we might be having an intense discussion about relationships or current events; the next, we’d be exchanging laundry tips and supper ideas. You might pause in the middle of talking politics or culture or sex to write down a snack recipe, or admire a pair of shoes, or recommend a cloth diaper cover, and no one ever thought you were off-brand.

Moms blog the way moms talk.

I’ve been thinking about this as I scroll through my daily reads (which aren’t all mom blogs, by the way, though I am most at home there), and how each blogger defines her public space differently, just as the playgroup moms had different styles of hosting.

For starters, there’s the hostess-with-the-mostess blog. These almost exclusively fall under the lifestyle or design category. They are strewn with gorgeous images of beautiful children, exotic travels and exquisite things. The tone is always warm and welcoming, though rarely intimate. Some people have a really hard time with that, and feel deceived where others (like me) are enchanted. I don’t know why anyone would be affronted when someone breaks out the good china and hides the dirty laundry for a visitor, but lucky for us all there is the

Come-as-you-are blog. You know exactly where to find the mugs and can help yourself to the coffee. The conversation is organic, arising from whatever is actually going on in the blogger’s own life, but not so introspective that you feel shut out. She frequently confides, but never dumps. You just know if you met, you’d be friends. Your kids would be friends. You wish she lived next door.

Then there are the block captain blogs. If there’s an issue, a  controversy, or a cause, these women are on it. They’ve written the manifesto, designed the badge, circulated the e-petition and set up the trust fund before you’re out of yoga pants. They’re brainy and resourceful and inspired so I don’t have to be.

The Amway party blog. You know the ones. They’re only inviting you over to shill something. I am always busy that day.

There’s the Daily Epic Drama of Major Proportions blog and the Why Does This Keep Happening to Me blog. I’m busy both those days.

There is the artist-next-door blog. The studio door ajar, an open notebook on the table, a whistling tea kettle and the rattle of teacups down the hall. I’m never busy that day.

Where do you feel most at home in the community of blogs?


9 Responses to “A Unified Theory of Mom Blogs.”

  1. Ashley Smith says:

    To me you are always the come as you are blog. I love visiting your space.

  2. Lindsey says:

    I love this. I’d also add that it seems like there are the playground – cliques, which I observed echoing in the oddest way in playGROUP cliques, in the blogosphere too.
    I agree with Ashley. This is a welcoming, honest, and warm come-as-you-are blog and playgroup. Thank you for hosting so many of us!

  3. Christa says:

    Agree! I am not a mom, but I read many mom blogs. Spot on.

  4. Bev says:

    I definitely visit the come-as-you-are blogs most often…you know, the ones like yours!

  5. I read a variety of blogs and it depends on my mood that day where I feel most at home. Sometimes, I need decorating tips and I know where to go, or support for my writing and I’ve got those bookmarked too.

    When I just need to feel, to reconnect with my heart and shut out the worries of the day, I go straight to the blogs that make me remember what’s most important to me.

    Those would definitely be the ‘ come as you ‘ are blogs.

    I read your blog for the heart of it, because it touches mine.

  6. Alison Chino says:

    Oh my goodness! This made me laugh so hard!! I am now going to be categorizing all blog reads with these! Brilliant!

  7. Sweetney says:

    With the burnouts, back behind the bleachers? 🙂

  8. Eltabross says:

    What a great post! I’m new to this, and as I’ve been collecting my blog roll, I find I’ve been sorting them kind of how you’ve described! One favorite group …. ‘real’ (come as you are). But they ALL are great to hang with!

  9. Alicia says:

    This is a good post, but I can tell you lost steam writing about the blogs you don’t like. I am also busy on those days too!! What a coincidence.

    And I love your blog!

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